THE BEAR NECESSITIES

Here's something you don't see every day in suburban New York: my wife calling out to me that a bear was five feet in front of the house. After ascertaining it wasn't a large dog (I have keen powers of observation), we watched the bear amble off. Right to our next door neighbors, where the animal walked along their front walk and then around to their back yard!

After calling our neighbors to alert them (fortunately we get along with our neighbors), we then called the police. You see, there are a lot of little children who wait each day at the unpatrolled bus stops along our street. For those of you not conversant in bear language, the words "little children" translate into "tasty morsels."

The police told us we should call Animal Control. New York's Finest (note, we didn't call New York's Bravest) did assure us however that they were monitoring the situation. While knowing that the bear chewing off my leg would be recorded for posterity presumably as part of the monitoring process was a relief, that still didn't address the immediate problem: there was a bear on the loose!

So we called Animal Control. It being Sunday, they were off. I was comforted to see that wild beasts presumably observe the Lord's Day. We left a detailed voice message.

It's been four days and no return call, no signs of an Animal Control truck or official, but yes, the bear has been spotted several more times.

That's it for this week's Tuesday Blog. If you don't see anything in this spot next Tuesday, it might be a good idea to have that bear's stomach pumped.